The Powerful Black Women: Part 3

Uncategorized

Yanla Vansant

Part 1 of this discussion of Guilt and Shame concentrated on reasons why women harbor guilt and shame which included: Past Experiences of Abuse or Trauma; Feelings that she has to be all things for everyone; and being Physically and Mentally oppressed.  These reasons keep women trapped which will ultimately jeopardize her health.

Still I Rise

Part 2 of this discussion was reasons to Let Go of Guilt and Shame that increases the risk for women to experience morbidity problems of: Anxiety; Depressed Moods; Self-loathing.  Holding on to guilt and shame can cause unwanted health concerns.  Guilt and Shame may appear that she is barring all things and keeping it all together to the outside world, but all the while jeopardizing her physical and mental health.

Finally Part 3: The Break-Through

There is a Misconception of Black Women that states:  To be Strong Black women suggests a superhuman trait rendering Black women capable and obligated to take on and handle all the burdens of the world (Walton & Oyewuwo-Gassikia, 2017).

Black Woman wrap

Strong Black women have gone through some stuff…

 The Powerful Black Woman

  • Recognizes that she has limits:
    • May not have the answers, out of control, emotionally spent, and powerless;
  • Recognizes when to solicit help from others:
    • Enlists a support system (family, friends, faith community, social resources);
  • Takes responsibility for her actions and completes the tasks:
    • Sets clear boundaries;
  • Finally, she shares her story!
    • Helping others by being transparent.

 

 

2 CORINTHIANS 13:9

We are glad whenever we are weak but you are strong;

and our prayer is that you may be fully restored.

 

Peace and Blessings!

By:  Kristen Pettaway, MA LPC Liberty University |

Clinical Case Manager Intern Destination Greatness, PLLC

Logo

Office Sites

http://www.destinationgreatnesspllc.org

https://www.facebook.com/thedestinationgreatnessfoundation

 

 

 

References

Walton, Q. L., & Oyewuwo-Gassikia, O. B. (2017). The case for #blackgirlmagic: Application  of a strengths-based, intersectional practice framework for working with black women with depression. Journal of Women and Social Work, 32(4), 461-475. doi:10.1177/0886109917712213

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A Spiritual Journey through Journaling

Uncategorized

By: Kristen Pettaway, MA Student at Liberty University; Clinical Case Manager Intern Destination Greatness, PLLC

Journal

(Yahoo, 2017)

When times get complicated for me I have often found relief in writing down my thoughts and feelings.  Often times it brings out many emotions that I have been unable to share with anyone else.  Journaling is personal yet profound.  Journaling it is a form of expressing oneself on paper that can be easier than talking face to face with someone.  The paper does not care who you are or where you come from. The paper is there simply to be a tool used to obtain mindfulness.  To release built up feelings and emotions.

Journaling

(Start at 60 writers, 2017)

Journaling is powerful.  Journaling can take just a few minutes or as much time as it takes to complete a thought.  There are no rules. No judgement. No obligation to journaling. The only thing needed is writing material, a quiet place, and a desire to express yourself.

Journaling is a way to:

  • Express your Fears
  • Express your Emotions
  • Express your Dreams and Desires
  • Acknowledge your failures
  • Document your prayers
  • Document your Goals
  • Document your Decisions
  • Record your thoughts

Some people use alcohol, drugs, sex, even religion as a way to escape from feeling.  Some use all of these in combination in order not to feel.  Journaling is a way to find relief without causing self-harm or causing harm to others.  Through Journaling you can commune with God by pouring out and calling out to Him.  Through journaling burdens and yolks are lifted.

A Spiritual journey through journaling happens when you look back over your life and realize how far you have come.  Your Spiritual journey can be both rewarding and daunting at the same time. By keeping a journal you can revisit it at any time to survey where you are currently, your accomplishments and goals yet to accomplish.

Revisit your journal often to track:

  • How you concurred your fears
  • How you managed your emotions
  • How you accomplished your Dreams and Desires
  • How you regrouped and moved past your failures
  • When God Answered your Prayers
  • When you accomplished that Goal
  • If the decisions you made were helpful
  • how your thinking and behavior have changed

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

765x250_BibleLandingPage_1_1496266423

(Christianbook.com, LLC, 2017)

Journaling helps identify areas in which to focus your attention.  Journaling helps put your thoughts, feelings, behavior, and spirituality in alignment with the will of God.  Your Spiritual journey through journaling is a powerful tool of self-awareness and future endeavors.

Until next time, enjoy the journey to your Destiny!

LogoDestination Greatness is a mental health and substance abuse psychotherapy agency dedicated to assisting individuals and families in maximizing their level of functioning on all life domains in pursuit of Greatness. Destination Greatness provides individuals and families with the opportunity to live more fulfilling and meaningful lives. Destination Greatness strives to enrich each individual and family through greater self-awareness, focus on strengths, and belief in a greater destiny.

References

Bible Gateway. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.biblegateway.com/

Christianbook.com, LLC. (2017, October 14). Bibles NIV, KJV, ESV, NLT for study and outreach. Retrieved from Christianbook.com, LLC: https://www.christianbook.com/page/bibles?kw=cbd%20bible%20marking%20kit&mt=b&dv=c&event=PPCSRC&p=1165909&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Brand%20CBD&utm_term=cbd%20bible%20marking%20kit&utm_content=cbd%20bibles

Start at 60 writers. (2017, October 2). Why journal writing is good for me. Retrieved from Bing: https://tse2.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.RykTS6InHkyDH14o3qH2lgEsCo&pid=15.1&P=0&w=298&h=169

Yahoo. (2017, October 14). Images of journals. Retrieved from Yahoo.com: https://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images?p=images+of+journals&fr=uh3_news_web_gs&imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.kinja-img.com%2Fgawker-media%2Fimage%2Fupload%2Fs–I4E1BkV5–

5 Tips To Help The Recovering Addict

Uncategorized

By: Kristen Pettaway, MA LPC Liberty University | Clinical Case Manager Intern Destination Greatness, PLLC

support

Support Group

Substance use and abuse are rampant in our communities.  For many family and friends of the addicted encouraging efforts may be exhausting and frustrating.  The addiction is controlling your loved one and there seems to be nothing that you can do about it.  Over the past several weeks I have had the opportunity to collaborate with members of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA) and Al-Anon.  While attending these meetings I have identified at least five ways that the concerned party of the addict can do to encourage their loved one without offending or becoming frustrated in the process.

AA has been in operation for more than 80 years with NA, and Al-Anon later establishing groups based on the AA principles.  These perceptive groups welcome anyone who has decided that the addictive behavior has become harmful enough to their health and well-being that sobriety is the only option.  While a guest at these different group meetings I walked away with 5 very important ways to help the recovering addict in his or her sobriety.

idea image

  1. To eliminate the frustration: Stop telling the addict about his or her addictive behavior.  In order for the behavior to change the addict must be willing to change it. It is not enough for the family and friends to want the addict to quit his or her behavior.  The addict must want to change his or her behavior on their own.  When the addict is ready to commit to becoming sober they must first admit that there is a problem.  No one can tell the addict that he or she has a problem that needs to be fixed, that revelation must come from within.
  2. Help imageApply the Twelve-Step and the Twelve Traditions to your own life. Once the addict has made a commitment to change he or she must do the work.  Family and friends cannot do the work for the addict.  The family and friends have their own specific job to do for their own well-being and the addict has specific things to do to work on their stuff.  Whatever that stuff is, each person is challenged to work the Twelve-Steps and the Twelve Traditions of the program on their own.tes.org.uk
  1. Love the addict through their recovery. Since family and friends cannot do the work for the addict, trying and continuing to force your will onto the addict is futile and a mere waste of your time.  The only thing you can do is to continue to love them through it, as much as you can.  Prayer will help you help yourself and the addict build strength to go on.  Extending grace to the addict whenever things go wrong.  Forgiveness is a powerful tool.  To see the addict as yourself in the eyes of God who showered you with His grace and love and welcomed you into His presence.
  1. line in the sandSet clear boundaries. Mean what you say and say what you mean.  Just because you love the addict through his or her recovery does not mean you become their doormat.  Avoid becoming passive and enable the behavior.  As the addict’s support system you must also take care of yourself and the other family members who are going through the struggle with you and the addict.  As the supportive person, you may need to demonstrate some “tough love” at times so the addict knows that a boundary has been crossed.  It is not uncommon for an addict to experience jail time, homelessness, or something worst before he or she can turn the situation around.  Setting boundaries is an important instrument to provide safety for you and your family.vtdance
  2. And finally, exercise some patience. Live your life and allow the addict to live his or her life as well.  The concerned family and friends cannot control the behavior or take care of the addict nor is it your responsibility to do so.  The addict must take control of their own well-being.  Even if the addict is a child under the age of 18 years of age.  Parents are physically responsible for the well-being of the child but they cannot control their feelings, emotions, or behavior.  But if there are clear boundaries and rules in place everyone will know what will happen if one of those boundaries has been crossed.  It is not uncommon for an addict to go through recovery or rehab several times before he or she is able to quit.  Continue to care and support him or her for the effort toward recovery.

Until next time, be blessed.

request support

LogoAt Destination Greatness, we realize that addiction may co-exist with other diseases.  Yes, the addiction is a disease.  While some can experience using a substance and not become addicted others may become addicted after the first experience.  At Destination Greatness, we will help the individual explore the areas that cause a pivotal role in the addiction, while sobriety and abstinence remain the goal to foster change in the overall quality of life.  Destination Greatness, PLLC is available to anyone who has a desire to change.

 

 

References

Images.search.yahoo.com

5 Tips To Help The Recovering Addict

Uncategorized
support

Support Group

Substance use and abuse are rampant in our communities.  For many family and friends of the addicted encouraging efforts may be exhausting and frustrating.  The addiction is controlling your loved one and there seems to be nothing that you can do about it.  Over the past several weeks I have had the opportunity to collaborate with members of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA) and Al-Anon.  While attending these meetings I have identified at least five ways that the concerned party of the addict can do to encourage their loved one without offending or becoming frustrated in the process.

AA has been in operation for more than 80 years with NA, and Al-Anon later establishing groups based on the AA principles.  These perceptive groups welcome anyone who has decided that the addictive behavior has become harmful enough to their health and well-being that sobriety is the only option.  While a guest at these different group meetings I walked away with 5 very important ways to help the recovering addict in his or her sobriety.

  1. To eliminate the frustration: Stop telling the addict about his or her addictive behavior.  In order for the behavior to change the addict must be willing to change it. It is not enough for the family and friends to want the addict to quit his or her behavior.  The addict must want to change his or her behavior on their own.  When the addict is ready to commit to becoming sober they must first admit that there is a problem.  No one can tell the addict that he or she has a problem that needs to be fixed, that revelation must come from within.

idea image

Ah – Hah Moment!

  1. Apply the Twelve-Step and the Twelve Traditions to your own life. Once the addict has made a commitment to change he or she must do the work.  Family and friends cannot do the work for the addict.  The family and friends have their own specific job to do for their own well-being and the addict has specific things to do to work on their stuff.  Whatever that stuff is, each person is challenged to work the Twelve-Steps and the Twelve Traditions of the program on their own.

Help image

  1. Love the addict through their recovery. Since family and friends cannot do the work for the addict, trying and continuing to force your will onto the addict is futile and a mere waste of your time.  The only thing you can do is to continue to love them through it, as much as you can.  Prayer will help you help yourself and the addict build strength to go on.  Extending grace to the addict whenever things go wrong.  Forgiveness is a powerful tool.  To see the addict as yourself in the eyes of God who showered you with His grace and love and welcomed you into His presence.

tes.org.uk

  1. Set clear boundaries. Mean what you say and say what you mean.  Just because you love the addict through his or her recovery does not mean you become their doormat.  Avoid becoming passive and enable the behavior.  As the addict’s support system you must also take care of yourself and the other family members who are going through the struggle with you and the addict.  As the supportive person, you may need to demonstrate some “tough love” at times so the addict knows that a boundary has been crossed.  It is not uncommon for an addict to experience jail time, homelessness, or something worst before he or she can turn the situation around.  Setting boundaries is an important instrument to provide safety for you and your family.line in the sand
  2. And finally, exercise some patience. Live your life and allow the addict to live his or her life as well.  The concerned family and friends cannot control the behavior or take care of the addict nor is it your responsibility to do so.  The addict must take control of their own well-being.  Even if the addict is a child under the age of 18 years of age.  Parents are physically responsible for the well-being of the child but they cannot control their feelings, emotions, or behavior.  But if there are clear boundaries and rules in place everyone will know what will happen if one of those boundaries has been crossed.  It is not uncommon for an addict to go through recovery or rehab several times before he or she is able to quit.  Continue to care and support him or her for the effort toward recovery.

vtdance

Until next time, be blessed.

request support

At Destination Greatness, we realize that addiction may co-exist with other diseases.  Yes, the addiction is a disease.  While some can experience using a substance and not become addicted others may become addicted after the first experience.  At Destination Greatness, we will help the individual explore the areas that cause a pivotal role in the addiction, while sobriety and abstinence remain the goal to foster change in the overall quality of life.  Destination Greatness, PLLC is available to anyone who has a desire to change.

By: Kristen Pettaway, MA LPC Liberty University | Clinical Case Manager Intern Destination Greatness, PLLC

 

References

Images.search.yahoo.com

A Spiritual Journey through Journaling

Uncategorized

By: Kristen Pettaway, MA Student at Liberty University; Clinical Case Manager Intern Destination Greatness, PLLC

Journal

(Yahoo, 2017)

When times get complicated for me I have often found relief in writing down my thoughts and feelings.  Often times it brings out many emotions that I have been unable to share with anyone else.  Journaling is personal yet profound.  Journaling it is a form of expressing oneself on paper that can be easier than talking face to face with someone.  The paper does not care who you are or where you come from. The paper is there simply to be a tool used to obtain mindfulness.  To release built up feelings and emotions.

Journaling is powerful.  Journaling can take just a few minutes or as much time as it takes to complete a thought.  There are no rules. No judgement. No obligation to journaling. The only thing needed is writing material, a quiet place, and a desire to express yourself.

Journaling

(Start at 60 writers, 2017)

Journaling is a way to:

  • Express your Fears
  • Express your Emotions
  • Express your Dreams and Desires
  • Acknowledge your failures
  • Document your prayers
  • Document your Goals
  • Document your Decisions
  • Record your thoughts

Some people use alcohol, drugs, sex, even religion as a way to escape from feeling.  Some use all of these in combination in order not to feel.  Journaling is a way to find relief without causing self-harm or causing harm to others.  Through Journaling you can commune with God by pouring out and calling out to Him.  Through journaling burdens and yolks are lifted.

A Spiritual journey through journaling happens when you look back over your life and realize how far you have come.  Your Spiritual journey can be both rewarding and daunting at the same time. By keeping a journal you can revisit it at any time to survey where you are currently, your accomplishments and goals yet to accomplish.

Revisit your journal often to track:

  • How you concurred your fears
  • How you managed your emotions
  • How you accomplished your Dreams and Desires
  • How you regrouped and moved past your failures
  • When God Answered your Prayers
  • When you accomplished that Goal
  • If the decisions you made were helpful
  • how your thinking and behavior have changed

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

765x250_BibleLandingPage_1_1496266423

(Christianbook.com, LLC, 2017)

Journaling helps identify areas in which to focus your attention.  Journaling helps put your thoughts, feelings, behavior, and spirituality in alignment with the will of God.  Your Spiritual journey through journaling is a powerful tool of self-awareness and future endeavors.

 

References

Bible Gateway. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.biblegateway.com/

Christianbook.com, LLC. (2017, October 14). Bibles NIV, KJV, ESV, NLT for study and outreach. Retrieved from Christianbook.com, LLC: https://www.christianbook.com/page/bibles?kw=cbd%20bible%20marking%20kit&mt=b&dv=c&event=PPCSRC&p=1165909&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Brand%20CBD&utm_term=cbd%20bible%20marking%20kit&utm_content=cbd%20bibles

Start at 60 writers. (2017, October 2). Why journal writing is good for me. Retrieved from Bing: https://tse2.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.RykTS6InHkyDH14o3qH2lgEsCo&pid=15.1&P=0&w=298&h=169

Yahoo. (2017, October 14). Images of journals. Retrieved from Yahoo.com: https://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images?p=images+of+journals&fr=uh3_news_web_gs&imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.kinja-img.com%2Fgawker-media%2Fimage%2Fupload%2Fs–I4E1BkV5–